Lucid529 (lucid529) wrote,

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Why is it always me...?

Well, I've just been struck by the giant hammer of loserness today. You see, I've come to the realization that I don't have a life, and everybody else does. This is, however, not a very positive realization. It really just makes me feel pathetic; like I'm wasted life...

For the fourth day in a row, I am home alone, with little to do, no one to hang out with and no reason to go anywhere. Well, I decided I was going to change a little something about that. For today, you see, I decided to go out for lunch! There's nothing special to eat at home, and even though I'm going by myself, it still breaks the monotony a little bit. Not to mention it kills a good half hour or so.

On the way home, a full car whizzed by me with all of it's passengers calling my name and waving. I waved back like an idiot, but since it was going so fast, I have no idea who any of them were. This is where more painful realization came in. They knew my name, so obviously they know me. Furthermore, they were probably friends of mine. And regardless, they just waved. They didn't slow down to say "hi", they just kept going. And whether not it was the intention at all, I feel abandoned... like they didn't want to stop. Hell, I obviously wasn't invited beforehand either...

Again, I couldn't recognize anybody, but I did notice the car was full, so it's not like I expected anyone to tell me to hop in or anything. But it would have made me feel a little better to get more than just a wave.

Perhaps I just think too much and too hard on frivolous things, but I've been bored out of my fucking skull for the past four days now: At present, I don't go to school. My boss is NOT giving me the more hours I'd asked for three times now. Very few of my friends live anywhere near me. And the ones who do, I can never catch at a good time.

So now what? I sit here and complain at the computer to make myself sound like a whiny, little loser... but it's the only way I can vent right now, because I have nobody to talk to.

I feel so fucking worthless...

I can't believe this...

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