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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lucid529's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 14th, 2015
11:52 pm
So, um... hey!
I apparently haven't looked at or thought about LiveJournal in over ELEVEN YEARS! Someone mentioned the site in passing earlier today and I suddenly was like, "I wonder if my account's even still there." And it is (although I MAY have struggled to remember what I named my account for a while before finding it). I then proceeded to spend probably more time than I meant to reading through dozens of entries, getting both nostalgic and annoyed with my emo past self.

And then in a moment of temporary insanity, I've decided I'm gonna write a post catching you all up. "You all" of course, meaning anyone who happens upon this. I would be surprised if anyone's reading this, so it's probably a giant waste of my time. And yet I'm feeling sentimental, so what the heck? Let's do it.

Last time I posted, I was boring and whiny and complaining about what I would later learn was by far one of the best jobs I'd ever have. I don't remember 2004 very well as you might imagine, but I know I also had a lot on my mind that I didn't talk about (I'll get to that later). What I do remember from that year was that that was when I decided to move out of my parents' place. I was at work on Halloween night and thinking how I couldn't take things the way they were anymore. So I saved up my paychecks for half a year, and left home to live in Plattsburgh, NY (because I had a friend there) in March of 2005.

At the time, I told people I was moving there for various reasons. The most common one being for college. And in fairness, I did go to college... for a year before dropping out again. I like to think I'm a smart person, but I'm really not what you'd call a good student.

Another popular reason I gave was that I needed a new setting. New place where people didn't know me. New people to connect with. Just an all around fresh start. I achieved this too. I actually made more friends than I'd ever had. A huge tight-knit group of great people, up to and including the lovely lady who would later be my wife. D'aaaaw~!

I spent seven years in Plattsburgh. I went through four jobs, lived in five different apartments, hit some of my life's worst lows, and made some of the best memories of my life in that time. Also, I have pet bunnies now. Landlords can be iffy with dogs, and my wife is deathly allergic to cats, so somewhere along the way, we compromised with bunnies. Three of them. In lieu of the children we don't have, they are our fuzzy, long-eared babies.

But most importantly, during that time in Plattsburgh I came to accept myself. See, I've had a secret for my first twenty years. I didn't tell anyone. Not my friends. Not my family. No one. Before then, I was afraid of what people would say. I had this fear of people being mad at me. Hating me. Hurting me. It was just easier to bottle things up, than to open up. But I'll open up to you today.

The truth is that I'm transgender.

If you don't know, this means that while I physically appeared to be male, I felt on the inside that I was female. That disconnect is painful, and it's safe to say I hated myself for a lot of my life. But it's viewed as such a taboo in society (it's getting better, but there's still a ways to go). TV and movies would always depict trans people as jokes, villains, or murder victims (none of which, I wanted to be). And then I'd read so many horror stories on the internet from people who came out. Disowned by their families. Abandoned by their friends. Divorced/left by their partners. I hated who I was, but I was still oddly comfortable enough that I didn't want to risk losing everything I had.

Until that one Halloween in 2004 (I don't know why that day specifically, but it does help me remember it)... when I hit my breaking point and basically said "fuck it" and came out to my friend in Plattsburgh on a whim. He was weirded out at first, but he offered to help if I could get to where he was. I took that chance.

And I spent those seven years learning about myself and accepting myself. I also spent them struggling to be able to start transition to no avail. It wouldn't be until my wife and I left Plattsburgh (to Albany) that I finally made progress on becoming me.

But it's been fast since! In September of 2012, I started hormone replacement therapy. Early in the following year, I started presenting female full-time. Soonafter, I legally changed my name to Jocelyn. And now I'm working out the last steps to acquiring my surgery (although that's still an endless series of flaming hoops to jump through).

I struggled to accept myself through my first twenty years, fearing all that could go wrong. But my experience was largely positive. My immediate family still loves me. Most of my friends remain loyal. My wife and I are the happiest couple I know. Everything I feared was unfounded. This affected me a lot. Although I'm a pretty optimistic person these days, I constantly find myself dwelling on all the different turns my life could have made if I just came out sooner. Could this whole process have been started ages ago maybe? Would I have been a less mopey teen?

This translated into my writing a bit. Yes, I still write. It's kind of my career, actually. Maybe it's not the most financially fulfilling path, but it's extremely rewarding. Currently, I'm working on an ongoing dramedy comic called Rain, which revolves around a teenage trans girl just trying to be herself. Using a lot of my experiences and feelings, I tell this story which - for better or worse - goes over the experience of being trans. It's the kind of story I needed to read my whole life ago. It's been received better than I expected too. I've published two volumes and there's a third on the way. There are thousands of readers; some of my fanbase (or "Rain Beaus" as I call them) have even contacted me to let me know that my work has affected them for the better. And this just means the world to me.

And that mostly brings things up to speed. Except that I learned I had testicular cancer in October of last year. Crazy scary stuff. What followed was six months of countless CAT scans, blood drawn by the gallon, and two surgeries (resulting in like four months of recovery between them). Thankfully, no chemo though. It's been taken out now and I think I'm feeling good again. After all, when you don't want them to begin with, it's not really a big loss. I know. It's kind of a strange thing for me to be making an afterthought of, but it's literally the last big thing that's happened in my life.

But beyond that, I'm good. Life still isn't easy, but I'm a happier person than the kid that used to write here. I don't plan on coming back to LiveJournal as a regular poster or anything. I have other sites I can use for that. I just wanted to write this for the three particular readers who were following me though, in the offhand chance that they might check in and see this. I may check in from time to time to see if this does get a response, but otherwise, this might be my last post.

I mean, unless LiveJournal's still here in another eleven years, then maybe I'll consider another long update. XD

Oh, and if anyone still wants to keep in touch, here are some places you can find me a bit more regularly:

http://jocelynsamara.deviantart.com/ (my comic, Rain, can also be found here)

Current Mood: nostalgic
Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
11:48 am
WARNING: Really freaking long entry below!

Despite claims to write more consistently, I should like to apologize for my lack of entries. But I'm simultaneously proud and disappointed to announce that I have a reason.

Frankly, I'm bored.

While I do intend to go back to school next January, that's still quite a while away. And until then, if I'm not working, I'm probably not doing anything, negating the possibility of having things to write about. As I've mentioned many times in the past, a majority of my friends no longer live in the same state as me. The few that are left are either still relatively far away (and I don't drive) or will be leaving shortly as well. In the end, this means I need to find other ways of amusing myself. But even this has proven exceedingly difficult as of late.

You see, my fallback entertainment would be to rely on gaming, anime or movies. But so far, it's been a miserable year for all three. On the gaming front, I can admit that soon, good looking titles like Tales of Symphonia, Star Ocean 3, Shadow Hearts 2 and Phantom Brave will all be coming out. On the other hand, these are all RPGs (prol'ly exceptionally long ones, due to mass demand for 50-100 hour games these days) which all come out within a three month period. So, sadly, as bored as I am, I fear I won't have the time to deal with them.

And the anime industry has just been terrible this year. Most "new" titles have been nothing more than re-releases, and as far as anything truly new; it's all been mediocre at best, and/or limited only to Japan for the time being. I was lucky enough to find a wonderful store in the city which sells import titles cheap and without tax. (Here I bought the first half of Fullmetal Alchemist, my new favorite anime, which won't be brought to America until sometime next year.) However, despite the greatness of this store, it's REALLY out of the way. It's roughly a 2 and a half hour trip to get there, then again to get back, so it's not like I can go back any time I want.

Good movies have also been lacking this year. (White Chicks, anyone?) Granted there have been a handful of good movies, (Spider Man 2, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Eternal Sunshine) I can't help but think there's little to look forward to beyond them.

What else could I do? How about reading? I'm too damn picky. (a real problem with me...) I've read about 4 "real" books (not including sequels) in the past 3 years. Everything else is a manga which takes no more than an hour for me to read anyway. Lately, I've skimmed the library to find books to read. I usually get no further than page 20 before I'm insanely bored and give up.

As for my other hobbies (and my goals in life) I would usually resort to drawing or writing. In fact, I've been commissioned by a friend to do a piece for her. I've proudly done an excellent start, with probably one of the most impressive designs I've ever commit to paper. But since then, here I am, a week and a half later, unable to draw anything with any sort of admirable talent. It's as though all my drawing ability went into this first part, so now I'm completely drained and no longer capable of drawing. I only have until the end of the summer to finish this though, so I wish I'd get my skills back.

Lastly, there's writing. I'd say I've got somewhere around 30 solid story concepts. However, I've recently come to the realization that while I personally love these stories and would love for the world to see them, I still have no real "drive" to write them. I've even considered the possibility of "Hey, what if I write one that ends up a best-seller and I make millions of dollars?". I still don't feel obligated. But if countless riches isn't enough drive, what the hell is? Instead, my focus shifts, and soonafter, I come up with a brand new genius concept destined to never be written...


So, there you have it: a whiny, angsty rant on boredom. Probably not thrilling. (hey, I was bored... heh...) But at least I wrote an entry, eh? And prol'ly one of my longest ever.

::Erhem:: And now that I've kept myself entertained for the past hour writing this, I'll go struggle to find something else to keep me busy until I go to work. Maybe I'll find something to do. Hopefully I will.

...... ...... ......

Please note: I accept suggestions...

Current Mood: exanimate

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
11:40 pm
"I done a good jorb."

Well, now that I've said I'd write more consistently, I've found myself having little or nothing to write about. (figures...) On top of which, I haven't had much time to do update either. You see, I finally got more hours at my job. I've been begging and pleading for a year, and now I finally got those hours. (I've mentioned this before. Don't remember? Look back two or three entries. It was ONLY a year ago.)

So, I've worked a lot of very full days lately. And while I'm not one to complain about having work to do, I'm not used to full days. They feel longer than they actually are merely 'cause I'm not used to it.

Incidentally, that being my reason for my lack of news, is also my only real news... Hmm... There must be something else I can mention...



Meh, I'm too tired. I'll come back and write something tomorrow when I haven't worked all day previously.

Current Mood: lazy

Friday, June 18th, 2004
11:58 pm
How unexpected...

Not only did I get a response, but I got TWO! Within the very same day I wrote the entry! Holy craparoni and cheese! Um... well, needless to say, I'm a little shocked. Somewhat flattered, but still shocked.

Erhem... in case those still reading are curious, my nearly year long hiatus is due to a number of reasons. For starters, within the first month since my last entry, I kept not being able to gather my thoughts. You know, the "this situation was cool when it happened, but makes a boring story to tell" kinda thing. On top of which I lost use of my computer 3 times. Virus, service switch, and really freaking bad virus, respectively.

The service change, being another big thing. One day we decided that AOL just sucked, and decided to move to Optimum. This led to a change in my screen name AND phone number. Plus, I never told about 90% of my friends about either of those changes... (heh, sorry...) I'm not totally sure why though. I guess that makes me a clueless moron. Yaaaaay!

Finally, at some point, it was over half a year since my last entry. Me, being the self-proclaimed perfectionist that I am, couldn't just come back after all that time with a dinky story about nothing. It had to be grandiose and epic! Of course, this is MY life we're talking about, so nothing grandiose and/or epic actually occured. And therefore, I wrote nothing.

I'm a clod, I know. And I'm also aware that this probably among the dumbest stories you've probably ever read. (certainly not epic...) But if there are still people willing to read my completely mindless rants, than I suppose I'll just have to rant mindlessly more often so that they may be read by you who is reading them. (no redundance whatsoever) Bwa ha ha ha!

Anyway, in a more down-to-earth and friendly way of saying it... thanks for reading. I'll write more.

(What a solemn conclusion... It's been too long since I last did this; I must be getting rusty...)

Current Mood: jubilant

Thursday, June 17th, 2004
6:52 pm
This is only a test...
Hey... if anyone reads this entry, please respond to it. I'm just curious if anyone still checks this journal out... on the other hand, if you never see this, don't feel obligated to do anything. I'll understand.
Thursday, August 28th, 2003
12:45 am
I am not wearing a pink kimono... it's magenta! Which is like twenty times more manly than pink!

The Big Apple Anime Fest (or BAAF) is this weekend, starting Friday, and I already know today, that it will be 100% impossible for me to go. I'll be busy all weekend, and really have to be more practical with my funds right now anyway... which kinda sucks really.

I first heard about this convention, last year, two days after it ended. I told myself, I'm gonna go to that next year, because it sounds cool and I love this stuff. Plus, it'd be a learning experience; I've never been to an convention of any kind. I wanna be in the voice-acting contest and kick ass doing so, and cosplay as my samurai-protege, Kenshin, and watch anime movies all day, and buy useless trinkets to display all over my room and meet some single anime-loving girl who's looking for a long-haired, geek artist like me. Well, there's the best case scenario, but hey, I can dream.

Unfortunately, that's not happening though. It's pretty much impossible. Work hours finally came up and if I turn it down once, they'll think I don't want the hours anymore. Plus, the money I'm making now, will be necessary if I want to go to college again, which, whether I like it or not, is significantly more important. Curse you, adulthood...

However, I'm about ready to book Labor Day weekend next year... now. For an "otaku" like myself, preventing me from a convention is like preventing me from eating... it's just cruel. And I'll not stand for this again. I'm preparing for next year's BAAF now. This way, nothing will stop me, lest a giant meteor fall on top of New York City... which would probably suck a lot... But since I'd say the odds of that are pretty slim, NOTHING will stop me! WAH HA HA HA HA HA!

It's all about determination, that it is...

Current Mood: determined

Friday, July 18th, 2003
12:40 am
A Random Thought...

I saw a sign the other day for some park somewhere that mentioned some sort of "Gelitan Slide". It is described to be pretty much the same thing as a water slide, except rather than sliding hundreds of feet into a pool of water, one slides down into 1100 gallons of Jello. Perhaps this is just my pessimistic way of thinking, but wouldn't the speed and impact of such a slide send one 'through' the Jello, unable to breathe or swim out... I mean, it sounded cool until I thought about it...

But I just gotta know: How do they do that...?

Current Mood: confused

Thursday, July 10th, 2003
2:18 pm
Why is it always me...?

Well, I've just been struck by the giant hammer of loserness today. You see, I've come to the realization that I don't have a life, and everybody else does. This is, however, not a very positive realization. It really just makes me feel pathetic; like I'm wasted life...

For the fourth day in a row, I am home alone, with little to do, no one to hang out with and no reason to go anywhere. Well, I decided I was going to change a little something about that. For today, you see, I decided to go out for lunch! There's nothing special to eat at home, and even though I'm going by myself, it still breaks the monotony a little bit. Not to mention it kills a good half hour or so.

On the way home, a full car whizzed by me with all of it's passengers calling my name and waving. I waved back like an idiot, but since it was going so fast, I have no idea who any of them were. This is where more painful realization came in. They knew my name, so obviously they know me. Furthermore, they were probably friends of mine. And regardless, they just waved. They didn't slow down to say "hi", they just kept going. And whether not it was the intention at all, I feel abandoned... like they didn't want to stop. Hell, I obviously wasn't invited beforehand either...

Again, I couldn't recognize anybody, but I did notice the car was full, so it's not like I expected anyone to tell me to hop in or anything. But it would have made me feel a little better to get more than just a wave.

Perhaps I just think too much and too hard on frivolous things, but I've been bored out of my fucking skull for the past four days now: At present, I don't go to school. My boss is NOT giving me the more hours I'd asked for three times now. Very few of my friends live anywhere near me. And the ones who do, I can never catch at a good time.

So now what? I sit here and complain at the computer to make myself sound like a whiny, little loser... but it's the only way I can vent right now, because I have nobody to talk to.

I feel so fucking worthless...

I can't believe this...

Current Mood: depressed

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
12:36 pm
You'll live to regret this, Katharine Gibbs! Or you would, rather, had you still been alive now!

Okay, so maybe with my last entry, I was overreacting a little. But then, that's what I do. I overreact. I excel at such. But either way, I'm still in a bit of a pickle.

Rewind my life to about this time one year ago. I was ready to go the great and mighty Katherine Gibbs School Arts and Technology Center. I had found the college that dreams were made out of. And upon my first time time setting foot in that building, I was quadruply impressed. (silly word...) During the first semester, everything was going according to plan as everything was perfect and just as they'd promised. Sure, Digital Editing sucked, but it's just ONE class, right?

Second semester rolls around and 4 art classes are brought down to 1, and Digital Editing remains. But it'll get better.

Third semester: no art classes. There is more Editing, accompanied by a film production class and the ever boring sound class. But it'll get better... right?

Fourth semester marks the reappearance of of 1 art class: storyboarding, an absolutely wonderful class in every respect. However, yet more Editing, another film class, the ever fun but tedious and ridiculously difficult 3D modeling class, and a speaking skills class... Um... but it will get better... maybe, if I'm lucky...?

But that's just what they want me to think. 'Cause it's not getting better and the school year is done come THIS December. And then I would be going out into the real world at NINETEEN YEARS OF AGE with a portfolio composed of damn near nothing except for demo reels for EDITING! And then when I don't get a job in any field I want, I wonder as I'm flipping burgers at McDonalds for the next 50 years, (unmarried and still trying to pay the money back to my family) why I decided to go to this "Gibbs" place anyway.

Well, to put a long story short, I've officially quit. Unfortunately, due to my expectations of it getting better, I now lack the money to go directly INTO another college right now. Not to mention the fact that I'm having an immensely hard time finding what I want in either cartooning or writing... ::sigh:: And this alone has set me back a year, and will probably set me back another at the rate I'm going.

I don't know, is this really overreacting? Probably not. The school lied to me and I fell for it. I wasted a year of my life as well as however much money. To go even further, my next choice HAS to be perfect next time. My parents didn't take this so well now. They'll kill me or something if I decide I don't like the next school.

What pisses me off even more than all this in some frivolous way, is that I'm going to need take as much OT at my job as I can to get money. And either way I'll still have to skip the upcoming anime convention for the second year in a row due to a lack of time and money.

I need an answer...

But until I get that answer, I'm basically doomed to not do anything for a while, which in its own right, sucks. Damn suckiness... ::groan:: I guess that means I'm back in my old "the world sucks and I hate everything" groove. Which also sucks, 'cause I hate hating things...

NOTE: If anybody knows any schools anywhere that fit my aspirations, feel free to let me know. Don't go out of your way, it IS technically my problem, but I'm willing to accept help. Thanks.

Current Mood: stressed

Monday, June 30th, 2003
11:12 am

Well, it's been a really long time or so since I last updated. There's really no actual reason for this; I just haven't. No offense, anybody. But now I feel obligated to make an entry. An entry to let everybody know: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING! See, I just needed to get that out. Thank you.

NOTE - I'll explain this when I can gather myself a little...

Current Mood: indescribable

Tuesday, April 15th, 2003
5:48 pm
The Not So Grand Finale...?!

On the last day of school last semester, they told us several times over and over again with great repetition, that we were to come to school on this Monday... (or yesterday, rather...) to pick up the books we'd be using for the following semester... (or tomorrow, rather...) We were also told that if we did not go, we would not get the books at all, and be thoroughly screwed over.

Upon arriving to school yesterday (via bus because of lack of better transport) I found out that the building was closed, and that they had a change of plans and would now be giving them to us on our first day back. (which makes more sense anyway...) But now I'm stuck at a closed school, with an hour 'til the next bus comes, and no new books to look through.

Apparently, they had sent a note in the mail about this change of plans. And it was certainly relieving to find this note in our mailbox... the day after. I swear, it's a great school but they're about as organized as amoebas...

ANYway, that means today was my last day off before the new semester begins, (and just everyone else in the world starts their vacations!) and boy was it ever a letdown. Not in a bad way, but I was just hoping for a little more something to happen.


I don't know what I was trying to get at with that whole story. Just something to say...

Current Mood: not really sure myself...

Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
11:37 am

There's something very unsettling about waking up one morning in APRIL and noticing that it's snowing.

It is however, somehow even more so disconcerting, to find that the following morning, it's still there.

Go away, snow... I hate you... You've overstayed your welcome when it was February, but now you're really getting on my nerves.

NOTE: If it starts snowing, come May, I'm outta here.

Current Mood: confused

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003
7:07 pm
JED's Life: The Complete First Season! Now Available on DVD!

Because I've been busy lately, I haven't been able to update this in a long time, but believe me when I say a lot has happened. Well, for me anyway... Either way, I now have a lot of free time and have decided to keep all you readers... all two of you... maybe three if I'm lucky... up to date with the recent events in my life.

Of course, I have nothing better to do with my time, and have decided to take a creative approach in explaining this. My life over the past nine months, is now a 26-episode anime series! It's no masterpiece, mind you... but it gave me something to so for like two hours or so...

1st DVD contains 5 whole episodes!

1. DAMN! This Stuff is Heavy! JED's First Day of School.

2. WAIT! There's Only One Girl in my Class? JED's Realization.

3. GROAN! Digital Editing Sucks! The Teacher's a Valley Girl!

4. PSEUDO-REVERSE-PEDOPHILIA! Meeting the Girl from the Other Class. But She's Four Years Older!

5. LOST! Miranda Offers JED a Ride Home! But Levittown is all Curved Streets?


- JED's Drawings, Approximate Weight of School Supplies, Map of Levittown, Revised Bread Commercial

2nd DVD contains 4 whole episodes!

6. ENEMY! Blue Monday is my Rival! But it's So Good!?

7. BOO! Halloween at an Art School! Doesn't Anyone Wear Costumes?

8. SHRIEK! The Haunted House Isn't Scary! Jesus Apparently Can't Save the Jewish...?

9. TEARS! Is Miranda Turning JED down? JED's Depression Continues.


- JED's Drawings, Blue Monday Exerpts, Interactive "(not so)Haunted House" Mini-Game

3rd DVD Contains 4 whole episodes!

10. MERRY! Christmas Finally Arrives! JED regresses to a 5 Year Old!

11. OBSESSION! Suikoden 3 Has Stolen JED's Soul! Will He Ever Stop Playing?

12. RETURN! JED's Ex-Girlfriend from 5 Years Ago Revisits for the First Time Unexpectedly! And She's Still Cute!

13. SYNOPSIS! Recap of Everything So Far Again! Why Not?


- JED's Drawings, JED's Christmas List to Santa, Suikoden 3 Advertisements, JED and Alena: The History

4th DVD Contains 4 whole episodes!

14. LOVELY! "His and Her Circumstances" is the Best Romantic Comedy Anime Ever! It's Actually Romantic AND Comical!

15. SCARY! JED is Invited to a Sweet Sixteen! It Sucked Anyway, But Then a Sniper Showed Up Down the Block!

16. FANBOY! An Anime Convention in August! It's a Long Way Off But JED'll Kill if He Must To Get There!

17. FAREWELL! JED's Ex-Girlfriend Moves Back, But They Keep in Touch This Time! Someday This'll Work Out!


- JED's Drawings, Top Ten Reasons Why "His and Her..." is Superior to "Love Hina", Info on Big Apple Anime Fest, Interactive "Kick the Sniper's Ass" Mini-Game

5th DVD Contains 4 whole episodes!

18. COLLEGE! No Vacation is Forever! But JED Was Bored Anyway!

19. OUTCLASSED! The Whole Semester is Computer Work! What Happened to Hand Drawing?

20. BEFUDDLING! JED's Website Dissapears! Curse You, Angelfire!

21. FANBOY, PART 2! JED's Classmate Downloaded the "Final Fantasy Unlimited" TV Anime Series! Must Find Blank CDs!


- JED's Drawings, "Final Fantasy Unlimited" Advertisements, JED's Rants on Today's Computer Technology

6th DVD Contains 5 whole episodes!

22. BRITISH! JED is the 2nd Most Desirable Voice Actor in His Class! He Makes a Top-Notch Villain Character!

23. EXPERIMENTIVE! JED Needs New Music for Daily, Long Bus Trips! Avantasia-a-a-a-a-a-a!

24. CLOD! JED Saves His Projects at School Under the Wrong Files and Loses Them! You'd Think He'd Know by Now!

25. RELIEF! The Semester Ends and JED Manages to Get Everything and Pass! But it Was Too Close For Comfort!

26. AGAIN! Another Vacation for Over Two Weeks! Only Three Days Into It and JED is Already Bored!


- JED's Drawings, Musical Exerpts from Avantasia, Blind Guardian and More, Voice Exerpts from Various Sound Projects, Movie Short: JED Twiddles His Thumbs


To be continued... I guess...

Current Mood: accomplished

Sunday, February 9th, 2003
10:39 am
Quiz Time, Round Two

Okay, here we go. I've got the ULTIMATE debate question.

Which is "nerdier"... fantasy or sci-fi?

Keep in mind that being "nerdy" isn't a considerably bad thing, nor a considerably good thing. And as strange as it sounds, it isn't an opinion. There actually IS an answer. If I were to say, which is better? Even though I like fantasy more, it's still an opinion. Which is "nerdier" is a factual thing.

For the record, I don't HAVE the answer, so please don't ask me. This is just a strange topic that spawned up a couple days ago and has yet to be answered. Kudos to you if you can answer it, though.

And no, I don't know why I keep putting "nerdy" in quotation marks...

Current Mood: nerdy

Monday, January 13th, 2003
9:37 am
The organism behind the door is a friend... try not to bludgeon with toaster.

I've been out of it for a long time. Incidentally, with three weeks off from school, I decided to make the most of my time and just ignore the internet for the most part. Very simply, I don't like being depressed, and I noticed sitting in front of the computer at all hours doesn't help. So aside from close to three thousand pieces of crap mail, and almost everybody IMing me with the first line being, "Where've you been?", I'm actually quite glad to say my vacation is over starting today.

But this whole time has been very strange going from good to bad to good back to bad to even worse to much better to extremely good to neutral. I mean, could you really be bored with such topics and situations such as: Lord of the Rings, an ex-girlfriend, Christmas, goth comics, an ex-ex-girlfriend, schizophrenia, nymphomania, an almost relationship but only almost, made-up words like "choastic", the 365th day in row, Suikoden, a LOT of anime, a new story concept, approximately two visits to the city, two (surprisingly good) DiCaprio movies, sweet sixteens and the snipers who ruin them (serious about that one, actually), vanilla coke, crappy cartoons, annoying patrons at the library, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Aside from the corny partridge ending, that's basically a brief summary of the past three weeks in my life. Fairly exciting... fairly strange...

Well, since I actually have to get ready now, I'll be going. Um, yeah... that's it.

Current Mood: optimistic

Sunday, December 8th, 2002
12:52 pm
Good news... but only sorta mostly good news.

I went to Utopia for the first time yesterday. Wowie zowie, do I like that place. Unfortunately, my lack of money somewhat ruined the experience, but it was still amazingly neat-o. It was like... Utopia... or something. I wanted to quit my job at the library to work there. Of course I didn't, but wanted to... and still do.

Gah... It still annoys me to know that it took me 18 goddamn years to find my niche in life, though. I might not have many of the problems I have now (namely girl trouble) had I not been so ignorant and lost.

I'm going back after Christmas... I need to go back. (with money) I lost my childhood to my own stupidity; I'm not losing my... whatever point of life this is actually called right now.

(Uh... is it just me, or did I sound more annoyingly whiny than usual just now...?

Current Mood: lacking of funds

Monday, November 25th, 2002
8:46 am
A hopeless romantic forever... that's not too weird is it...?

What's YOUR Writing Style?

brought to you by Quizilla

You know... I kinda figured that's what I was. With over twenty-someodd different stories, (book, manga or anime form) and my making sure there's some element of love in it, even when (or especially when) it doesn't seem to belong. I know it seems wrong for a guy to be more romantic than sex-crazed, but hey, at least I'm original...

Kudos to the quiz for knowing me so well... and kudos to the maker of the quiz for apparently being a fan of Escaflowne.

Current Mood: relaxed

Thursday, November 7th, 2002
7:44 am
Life sucks sometimes...

See above title.

Thursday, October 31st, 2002
3:00 pm
Evil is good! Evil is the job!

It's Halloween and stuff. I'm actually typing this from school and let me tell you: considering I go to a school full of artists, you'd probably think most people would be going around in costumes. But they're not... and therefore... they're boring. I'm one among twenty or so in the school in costume. (not that it's much of a costume, mind you, but at least it IS a costume)

Today's the day. I'm going to take my chances with Miranda today and...

::temporary pause:: Must make sure she isn't staring over my shoulder.

Anyway, I'm gonna ask her out today. Wish me luck!

I'm nervous as hell but if I don't at least ask now, I'll never get a chance. Even if I'm turned down, I can move on better.

::sigh:: NERVOUS!

Current Mood: hopeful

Wednesday, October 9th, 2002
7:13 am
Oh... it's the radish spirit...

I saw Spirited Away yesterday. That was an AMAZING movie in every conceivable aspect. The story, while strange and twisted, was flawlessly crafted and beautifully written. It was like the cute charm factor of My Neighbor Totoro, mixed with the creepy intrigue factor of Princess Mononoke. On a level of animation, nothing I've ever seen prior compares. If I can ever draw just HALF as good as this someday, I'd be satisfied.

So, all you people out there, I reccomend it. Good luck finding a theater that shows it though. I had to go all out to the city to see it. But that's okay; I'd support an anime movie in American theaters. Maybe they'll become widespread eventually.

Current Mood: fascinated

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